Beano Videostars (aka The Trial & 12 Other Stories) is the second video with 13 more episodes of the prank-filled children's animated 1963 TV series, The Beano based on the Beano comic characters, Dennis the Menace (voice of Susan Sheridan) and his dog Gnasher (Billy West). Episodes are: 'The Trial', 'The Snowman Army', 'Jelly Babies', 'The New School', 'Journey to the Centre of the Bed', 'Billy Whizz on Ice', 'It's a Dad's Life', 'Bags Those Pies', 'Snowbound', 'Ivy the Terrible on Safari', 'Monster Menace', 'Flutterfly' and 'Dennis Meets His Match'.
We begin with Planet Earth being wrapped around a giant banner of some kind. Is this what happens when the banner reads "Beanoversal"?
Thing is, the aliens are actually established Beano characters. I at first thought they were made just for the video, but a bit of digging around and I found they were actually in a three-page story in a Beano annual, bowlers and all. Also, they spoke English in the comic, but in the cartoon, speak in Jabba the Hutt gibberish undercut by English words like ‘okey dokey’.
What were those spotlights? Why, it’s the premiere of the new Beano video! There have been direct-to-video films that have been given big-screen premieres, like The Lego Movie, but I can’t say that the Beano is something that deserves the red carpet treatment. There’s a generic presenter guy who I’m going to call Generic Presenter Stuart Miles because he doesn’t have a name, who is here to introduce the characters to us.
The first to arrive is Dennis the Menace, not the American blonde kid, but the kid with spiky black hair, who, despite not being more than ten, has his own car. Wow. In the last Beano Video, he had a measly soapbox cart, but now he has a car with a built-in gun that shoots tomatoes at GPG. Where did he get that? How did he afford it? Is that one of the perks of being the main character in a cheaply-made cartoon?
Dennis disappears – yes, we don’t see him enter the building or anything or his car drive away, so it seems like he’s disappeared. GPG then presents the Bash Street Kids, and The Bash Street Kids are just like Dennis the Menace if there was a whole classroom of Dennis the Menace's teacher and Olive. The 3 Bears, not to be confused with the Grimm characters, are with them, and so is…an elephant in a beanie?
Look at those two people in the back. The ginger Harry Potter and the kid in the yellow jumper. It looks like they know this video is crap but they’re pretending to enjoy themselves to avoid hurting the feelings of those involved. ‘No, no, this is great, really. The tomato bit was funny, really.’
Anyway, we’re introduced to the first of two Beano characters who didn’t appear in The Beano Allstars, Billy Whizz. He’s different from the other Beano kids in that he doesn’t misbehave, but he’s still cut from the Marmaduke cloth; he can run really fast and that’s all there is to him.
Minnie the Minx, who is just Dennis only a girl, appears as well, as does Ivy the Terrible, who is just Dennis only a pre-school girl and another character who didn’t appear in the previous Beano video. I can imagine a stupid kid who likes the Beano – I was one of those stupid kids – watching The Beano Video and saying ‘Hey, where’s Billy and Ivy?’ but their presence really does highlight the lack of variety in these cartoons.
Then the aliens appear, and instead of gasping in wonder that there is life in the universe, GPG gets frustrated and says this whole thing is stupid. The aliens go in the theatre and thus we get our first story:
First, in The Trial, Conrad, Sally and Ken Bahn never heard of that but Mrs. Blakeningsop runs some errands and she will return at 3:30 AM sharp. The Bash Street Kids and Gnasher arrive to sing "The Super Supper March".
Plug says that they like to show Conrad but Fatty thinks whatever it is this time for the trial. Toots tells Mrs. Ramsbottom and her baby as they get home and she says goodbye to them. Danny wants to go to the toy room. Spotty tells Dennis and Gnasher some puzzles. Minnie and Danny like to play train. Erbert and Wilfred look at the ginger Harry Potter and the kid in the yellow jumper. Danny handles the toy crane as it handles the chair. Smiffy and Sidney think that was it.
Conrad wears the sombrero and Ken Bahn likes to play the music box as they sing "Plinker Plunker". Fatty Fudge with his son asks Mrs. Blakeningsop how to say good morning in the car, she gets to the way home while Sir blows his whistle. Mrs. Blakeningsop returns to tell the Bash Street Kids that she remember she has never seen.
Next, in The Snowman Army, Godfrey pays attention to the soldiers, simply Dennis and Plug go marching with Gnasher moving the sled with four snowman, although Danny, Spotty, Sally, Conrad, Ken Bahn, Minnie, Erbert, Wilfred, Smiffy, Sidney, Toots and Fatty arrive. Walter arrives with a sweet little snow teddy on his sled, Dennis pushes the swing and the snowman lands on him. Unfortunately, Dennis and Gnasher will put Walter out and Sally rescues him as they can watch three Fatty Fudges, Fatty Fudge and his son go roller skating while Godfrey catches them with a net.
Parky arrives at Bash Street School and he tells the Bash Street Kids to get the snowman down, Dennis pushes the snowman in the slide and it falls onto him. Suddenly, Parky tells Mrs. Blakeningsop how to get to her car while Walter and Sally can wait to stop the car. Dennis and Gnasher came out of the jungle gym onto the see-saw and a snowman was flying to the roof of Bash Street School and it lands on the soldiers.
Godfrey tells the soldiers how to shake, Sally loves Spotty then a canon comes by then the soldiers shoot the snowballs where all the Bash Street Kids and Gnasher throw them.
Those expecting something akin to Jack Frost the horror movie or that Doctor Who Christmas special are going to be disappointed, I bet.
Next, in Jelly Babies, Minnie's favorite things that are green jelly babies then they are none left. The newscaster says that the prime minister sends it today and turns into a jelly baby. A plane flies and it turns into a jelly baby, Minnie runs to tell Mrs. Ramsbottom and her baby. Suddenly, a baby was turning into a jelly baby.
Mrs. Blakeningsop exits the shop and she says thanks to Mrs. Walters at the grocery store. Minnie catches Parky's hat, so she puts a red jelly baby on his head to replace his hat. Minnie does not like the red ones, the bees do. Mrs. Blakeningsop runs to carry cabbages, so Minnie tells her that she's entering a free green zone. Mrs. Blakeningsop fills the cabbages for her kids into Minnie. Fatty Fudge with his son asks Mrs. Blakeningsop how to say good morning. The red Fatty Fudge has a nice new haircut and he says that he needs now is a belly full of jelly babies.
Minnie tells the red Fatty Fudge that she has terrible news, so she will let him go home and sing a song. The red Fatty Fudge says that Minnie eats green jelly babies and has been caught more, Mrs. Blakeningsop tells her that she doesn't think green free zones even assist. Minnie rushes over to tell Ken Bahn how to take her to Bash Street School. The red Fatty Fudge jumps into quick settling jelly and it lands on Minnie, Ken Bahn arrives to take her to Bash Street School.
Dennis' school teacher says that anyone likes green jelly babies, but Danny thinks Conrad is first and he likes some green jelly babies. Dennis tells Minnie that she's turning into a jelly baby. Dennis' school teacher and the Bash Street Kids hear the mother of Conrad and Sally coming to Bash Street School and they ran quickly. Mrs. Blakeningsop tells her kids that Minnie was turning into a jelly baby.
Sorry, I’m not The Doctor, so jelly babies don’t interest me. Wow, another Doctor Who reference, I really am a nerd.
Next, in The New School, The Bash Street Kids were playing battle before Mr. School Inspector knocks the door then it uses a woodworm who would let his key. Mr. School Inspector wants to show Danny around, Spotty says that he wants to play rocket launch and he flies onto the ceiling that Dennis' school teacher was shocked. Olive arrives where Danny says that Mr. School Inspector wants some tea while his hat gets off and his mouth spits out of water. The Headmaster, Winston and two rats watch television with three horses.
Mr. School Inspector says that the school is finished and the staff where all sacked while Dennis' school teacher, Olive, Headmaster and Janitor were on the first sack and Winston was on the second sack, The Bash Street Kids play no more teacher and no more school, but Mr. School Inspector gets a fishing pole with eight things to get them.
Plug had plastic surgery to make him so handsome, Fatty was given fit and muscular and Tomboy, Spotty's spots were removed, Danny's trademark school hat to replaced by a top hat just like Lord Snooty's, Erbert was given contact lenses, Wilfred was given a jersey transplant, Smiffy was given a new brain, Sidney was given a haircut, Toots was given a more feminine makeover, Sally was given a Scottish uniform, Conrad was given a Switzerland uniform, Ken Bahn was given a Christmas uniform and the other one was given a basketball uniform, Dennis was given another Christmas uniform and Minnie was given an important looking hat just like Parky's. Mr. School Inspector tells Mrs. Blakeningsop, The three Fatty Fudges, Fatty Fudge and his son to meet the new Bash Street Kids, their replacement was The Delightful Children from Down the Lane and he says that someone was missing, they ran over to find Spotty that he has a skin as smooth as a baby's bottom. Mr. School Inspector takes the Bash Street Kids to Bash Street Academy to meet the robot teacher and he tells them to follow him.
The Bash Street Kids search for the computer while Danny has more numbers, however Plug's face didn't last long. Danny tells Plug that he's sorry to disturb him and he has a chalk for him. Plug gets through the base then Dennis' school teacher, Olive, Headmaster, Janitor and Winston tell him that he likes his new school. Mr. School Inspector uses a maths disk on the robot teacher, the Headmaster says that's how he works, Dennis' school teacher uses his job to a plastic disk, Plug says that gives him an idea. The singer Uncle Boink would help Plug, Dennis' school teacher, Olive, Headmaster, Janitor and Winston to record some sounds.
Plug's got a brand new disk while Dennis' school teacher, Olive, Headmaster, Janitor and Winston to say goodbye to him. After the robot teacher nearly zapped Danny with its laser, Plug decided to replace its maths disk for a music CD (We're the Kids of Bash Street School). Suddenly, Dennis uses his normal uniform, Sally uses her Swizerland uniform, Conrad uses his Scottish uniform, Ken Bahn uses his normal uniform and Toots uses her normal uniform, Smiffy, Sidney, Fatty, Minnie, Danny, Erbert, Wilfred and Spotty changed back to their old selves. The robot teacher began dancing to music and eventually went haywire.
The Bash Street Academy exploded, destroying the new kids making their defeat. After this, The Bash Street Kids enter the school as it reopened and Mr. School Inspector became a tramp to play his banjo. Dennis' school teacher tells the new kids all about history, Danny says that the gang are back before the bricks are paved that says "Bash Street Kids Rule O.K.".
Next, in Journey to the Centre of the Bed, Smiffy, Sidney, Conrad and Sally hear voices, simply Ken Bahn tells Erbert and Wilfred to help Dennis and Gnasher, Minnie loves some tea to a little dolly, Spotty likes to play train, Plug tells Dennis that he should help him, Danny likes to play puzzles, Toots loves a cute lovely little baby doll, Fatty likes to play crane and Conrad hugs his favorite teddy bear, Mrs. Blakeningsop runs some errands and she will return at 3:30 AM sharp.
The Bash Street Kids sing "Lullaby for Mr. Benjamin B. Bickelbaum". Unfortunately, Danny tells Mr. Benjamin B. Bickelbaum how to turn him into Goblins, he meets the Fairy Freedom Fighters who are the Fairy Queen, Big Leader and Rull Leader.
Sir tells Mrs. Blakeningsop how to get to the grocery store while the Plumber tells her that he should get to a pothole. Mrs. Blakeningsop meets Mrs. Walters at the grocery store, Cynthia needs some sugar, The ginger Harry Potter and the kid in the yellow jumper tell Mrs. Blakeningsop that she needs some eggs, Mr. Zakinski tells her when he needs some flour, Medroom wants some cabbages.
Walter, Bertie and Spotty arrive to tell the Fairy Queen, Big Leader and Rull Leader how to get to the toy room, Jacques flies his kite and he tells Tooth Hound to show him how to do, the Fairy Freedom Fighters are gonna get him.
Suddenly, the red Fatty Fudge, the blue Fatty Fudge and the yellow Fatty Fudge notice that the goblins are gone, Fatty Fudge and his son tell them that the goblins are away. Mrs. Blakeningsop exits the shop and the goblins fall into a pothole while the Plumber is fixing the pipe.
Spotty loves to play train, Walter loves his dollhouse, Bertie likes some tea with a teddy bear, the Bash Street Kids and Gnasher sing "The Yawn Song" in the bed, Mrs. Blakeningsop returns with her groceries and she tells them that they feel so yawn today.
Now here’s Billy Whizz. No, he doesn’t get his own cartoon, it’s just something in the theatre. He thinks his drink is warm so he gets some ice. But get this, he finds his ice in…the South Pole!
Next, in Billy Whizz on Ice, Billy Whizz demands an iceberg with all the penguins, so he jumps on an iceberg and he starts paddling. In the night, Billy Whizz was passing all those people in the sidewalk.
Because he’s fast! Ho ho! And he doesn’t appear again. Yep, one trick pony, that’s what he is.
Next, in It's a Dad's Life, When George's Boss leaves, George will go to his house with an umbrella when it rains while Minnie tells him to get the seed trap. Minnie uses the stroller while George can be a baby, so Minnie cuts his pant legs but also five years old for school. Minnie thought it makes her into doing her homework.
George become a clown to enjoy the circus, he became the king of Beanotown just like Mrs. Kwan, the Delightful Children from Down the Lane's babysitter. Suddenly, the plumber tells him to crumple at his freak, but when Sir arrives that George was calling out the guard. George will be the king and Sir will be Cinderella.
George's boss returns that Minnie tells him that her dad is being loved, doomed and hard. Minnie and her dad were on a roller coaster while she gives him free tickets for that ride.
Now is a little musical interlude. The Beano Rap. It’s actually pretty catchy.
Next, in Bags Those Pies, The three bears are going to Hank's Hardware Store to meet McInk to play the bagpipes, he shoots the sack and it falls down. Pa tells Ted to saw the cactus and it lands on McInk. The three bears return to the cave and Pa says that is such a lovely day.
Next, in Snowbound, Conrad, Sally and Ken Bahn are working in the snow all day, Mrs. Blakeningsop goes to the Mega Mall, she will return at 3:30 AM sharp. Smiffy, Wilfred, Minnie, Dennis, Gnasher, Plug, Fatty, Danny, Toots, Sidney, Erbert and Spotty arrive to sing "The No-Laugh Race".
The Bash Street Kids are coming to the house, Conrad says that he can stay cold, maybe they sing "Cry a Pint". Mrs. Blakeningsop comes home telling The Bash Street Kids to thank you.
Then we have…ads? Yes, WACKY PARODY ADS. Oh, remember when I said the Three Bears weren’t to be confused with the Goldilocks ones? Well, they’re eating porridge now. None of the ads are funny or memorable, even if one for a ‘Beanotown Party CD’ has some more catchy music in the background.
Next, in Ivy the Terrible on Safari, Ivy has her favorite toys that are called Charlie Cheetah, Mrs. Teddy Bear, Ali Elephant, Trevor Crocodile, Gertie Gorilla and Jungle Spider so she puts them in her wagon.
Ivy puts Trevor Crocodile into the tube, Ivy pushes Charlie Cheetah on roller skates, Ivy throws the Jungle Spider jumping as it lands on Mrs. Ramsbottom, Ivy pulls Gertie Gorilla before Parky arrives and he builds the sign on the tree and Ivy gets Ali Elephant.
Five people tell Ivy's Mum and Dad about Gertie Gorilla, Jungle Spider, Charlie Cheetah, Ali Elephant and Trevor Crocodile. Mrs. Teddy Bear arrives at Ivy's house. Ivy snores in her bed with all her toys.
Next, in Monster Menace, Suddenly, The Bash Street Kids meet Mr. Zakinski at the sale stand to buy a penny and a nickel, Mrs. Blakeningsop brought those cabbages for her kids. The ginger Harry Potter and the kid in the yellow jumper have to get some watermelon, Walter tells Mrs. Walters that he has to leave at the grocery store, Bertie arrives to meet Walter that he should come with him. Mrs. Blakeningsop, The Bash Street Kids and Gnasher meet Walter and Bertie that they're going to Bash Street School, Medroom arrives that he's sleeping for five years as he leaves.
But the red Fatty Fudge, the blue Fatty Fudge and the yellow Fatty Fudge want to build the Bash Street School, Cynthia tells Parky that she doesn't go. Walter and Bertie meet Spotty that they decide to tell Jacques that he's a monster. Fatty Fudge and his son build the Bash Street School, Cynthia tells the photographer that he has seen Parky. After the Bash Street School is finished, everyone cheered.
Next, in Flutterfly, Gnasher and Gnipper were at the yard so Walter arrives by catching a butterfly with a net. Gnasher and Gnipper were laughing at the yard.
And last, in Dennis Meets His Match, Dennis and Gnasher are sitting outside their front door, moping because it's a nice spring day. Walter arrives in a happy mood and tells Dennis that nothing can upset him today. The Menaces try to prove him wrong by squirting him with the garden hose. However, Walter just laughs annoyingly, simply saying that a mere sprinkling of light summer rain poured down. The Menaces try even harder to spoil his mood by making a loud din with their instruments. Walter just sings happily, and asks if he heard a pindrop somewhere. The Menaces re-enter the garden shed as Walter says hello to everything he sees. Dennis is cheesed off even more by this and gets out his RC jet plane which drops eggs and flour onto Walter. Dennis expects Walter to bawl his eyes out by now, but as the flour disappears, Walter is still smiling, and proves himself right; Dennis cannot possibly hurt him today, then falls lovesick.
Local beauty queen and attractive schoolgirl Cynthia then arrives, pushing her doll's pram. Walter is holding a bouquet of daffodils as Cynthia stops by and reveals that she's been Beanotown Beauty Queen for three years running. Walter then rejects Cynthia for her cuddly dolly she was pushing. Enraged, Cynthia stamps on Walter's foot, causing him to throw the dolly in the air. It lands in Cynthia's arms, and she uses it to whack Walter, launching him into the air. Dennis uses a trampoline as the final step in the plan to bounce Walter out of sight. He congratulates Cynthia over her 'brilliant' menacing work.
Meanwhile, Dennis' school teacher is admiring the prize marrow he grew in his garden, and hopes to win first prize in the local competition, when suddenly, Walter crash lands onto the marrow, squashing it!!!! Teacher blows his top at Walter over the obliterated marrow and angrily fires him as Teacher's Pet to add insult to injury. This is the final straw for Walter who finally begins to cry like a baby with a severe nappy rash as he creeps out of the garden, with Teacher telling him to stay out.
Dennis and Cynthia begin celebrating Walter's defeat, when suddenly, Dennis endures his first on-screen kiss. He screams very loudly, as Gnasher joins in. They then stop the film and jump out of it so they can get to the projector and cut that scene out (Gnasher eats the tape) so it never happened. The Menaces then run away, while Cynthia watches.
After the end credits, Dennis escapes the cinema and finds the two aliens from the beginning of the video inside their UFO. He bangs on the window, telling them to get him away from Cynthia. The aliens accept, and the UFO flies off into outer space as Cynthia begins crying. Dennis and Gnasher, relieved to have escaped Cynthia, realise to their horror that a female alien is in love with Dennis and wants to kiss him. Cue another loud, ear-piercing scream from Dennis.
Cut to the cinema, where Olive is cleaning up after everyone has gone. She breaks the fourth wall and tells the viewers to rewind the tape so they can watch the video again.
- The Trial
- The Snowman Army
- Jelly Babies
- The New School
- Journey to the Centre of the Bed
- Billy Whizz on Ice
- It's a Dad's Life
- Bags Those Pies
- Ivy the Terrible on Safari
- Monster Menace
- Dennis Meets His Match
- Ken Bahn
- Mrs. Blakeningsop
- Minnie the Minx
- Dennis the Menace
- Mrs. Ramsbottom
- The ginger Harry Potter
- The kid in the yellow jumper
- Fatty Fudge
- Walter the Softie
- Fatty Fudge (Red version)
- Fatty Fudge (Yellow version)
- Fatty Fudge (Blue version)
- Mr. School Inspector
- The New Kids
- Mr. Robot
- Uncle Boink
- Mr. Benjamin B. Bickelbaum (Goblins)
- Fairy Freedom Fighters
- Fairy Queen
- Big Leader
- Rull Leader
- The Plumber
- Mrs. Walters
- Mrs. Blumberg
- Mrs. Thompson
- Mr. Zakinski
- Spotty (Softie)
- Tooth Hound
- Billy Whizz
- George's Boss
- The King
- Dennis's Dad
- Walter's Mom
- Larry Quinn
- Dennis's Mum
- Ivy the Terrible
- Charlie Cheetah
- Mrs. Teddy Bear
- Ali Elephant
- Trevor Crocodile
- Gertie Gorilla
- Jungle Spider
- Swimming people
- Ivy's Mum
- Ivy's Dad
- Vilhemina Slop Bucket
- Slasher Brown
- Reg Trademark
- FBI Warning
- Polygram Video Logo
- Beanoversal Logo
- Start of The Beano Videostars
- The Beano Videostars Closing Credits
- Ending to The Beano Videostars
- Delta Entertainment Logo